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i was scared too...
I found the giant evil black cat that terrorises all the other cats in the neighbourhood in our kitchen this afternoon. He had just settled down to scoff Slinky's lunch when I spotted him, or rather heard him, because he wears a cute little bell around his neck. I chased him out of the house, but he just stepped out of the backdoor and turned around to look at me in that adorable way that, even giant evil black, cats have. For some reason, after five or six years, he suddenly wanted some loving from me. So, I spent a few minutes making a fuss of him. He was purring away and rubbing himself against me and for a second I forgot that he was the giant evil black cat. He then set off back into the house, completely ignoring my attempts to stop him. I eventually just picked him up. He must have weighed at least two stone. This is one solid cat. No wonder the other cats are scared of him. Poor Slinky won't even go outside if the giant evil black cat is around. I put him on the door step and gently shooed him away. He wouldn't move, and turned to come back into the house. I blocked his way with my foot, and tried to gently guide him out of the house. He still wouldn't go, and seemed determined to come back into the house. I bent down to push him out with my hands, but no sooner had I touched him than he turned on me hissing like a giant evil black cat with slashing and tearing on his mind. With my heart thumping, I was a little less gentle when I kicked him out of the house, but oddly he didn't run away. He turned and carried on hissing a challenge at me. This was a very scary cat. How many cats do you know that are willing to take on a human being? Anyway, I have learned my lesson. If it looks like a giant evil black cat, then it probably is a giant evil black cat, and I will never again mess with the giant evil black cat.
[I borrowed this picture of Bob to illustrate the story. The giant evil black cat looked a bit like Bob only he was giant and evil.]
mr mcmuffin on 12 Nov 2004 @ 05:11 PM ✲ Permalink
Comments
So it WAS Bob...
Posted by: Steve | 12 Nov 2004 17:45:48
Just what I was thinking.
Except I would never torture my cats so much as to make them wear a collar or a bell.
Black cats are not evil, anyway. Only fluffy cats are evil.
Posted by: Kirsty | 12 Nov 2004 20:26:07
That looks and acts just like Know Nothing Buddy, the Non-Wonder Cat. We've had him since he was born, his mother knowing better than us and refusing to feed him. He is a thug of a cat, is mean to our Labrador and I suspect he steals hubcaps at night. I just love him.
I may have to agree with Kirsty, though about the fluffy quotient.
Posted by: Darren | 12 Nov 2004 21:14:46
You have somehow become the Amityvile(sp). Exorcist, Pet Cemetery house of evil cats. I suggest a screenplay and an agent immediately. You could be on to your retirement funds here.
Posted by: jo | 13 Nov 2004 01:15:03
Ooh yes, 'based on a true story', i can see the titles now.
Posted by: mrs mcmuffin | 13 Nov 2004 13:39:03
The true story of how I was hissed at by a cat. I can see it filling the multiplexes and all that lovely dosh. What will I buy first?
Posted by: mr mcmuffin | 13 Nov 2004 15:57:39
We may have copyright issues with David, though: similar stories abound
Posted by: mrs mcmuffin | 13 Nov 2004 16:34:24
Ah, we have a similar neighborhood fiend, whom we call "Faux Whiskers" because he/she looks just like our cat Whiskers, but our cat won't leave the house either if Faux shows up. One day Whiskers was eating at his bowl in the kitchen, then he simultaneously walked in the back door, leading me to realize that Faux had tricked his way in. I threw him out, using a squirt gun to reinforce his ejection.
Do Not Trust Cats. They Are Evil.
Posted by: Loretta | 13 Nov 2004 16:57:22
"How many cats do you know that are willing to take on a human being?"
Oh, every single one of the buggers. They're just biding their time.
Posted by: Nagl | 14 Nov 2004 13:01:05
In regards to Black Cats,
For some reason cats just seem to gravitate
to my backyard. There is one black cat in
particular, I named "Old Black" he is the
meanest, toughest looking black Angora I've
ever seen in my life, when he comes thru my yard all of the other cats scatter, but he
didn't scare my prized possession, "Sheatani" he's a beautiful black short haired fern cat, and he doesn't take kindly to tom cats cutting in on his territory. Old Black underestimated my baby because Sheatani challenged him and beat the hell out of this cat and sent him
running fast out of my yard, I've never had another problem with any mean old cats again!
Posted by: Lady Tiger | 29 Apr 2005 00:37:40
just because it's a black cat, doesn't mean it is evil. i have a black cat and he is the nicest cat you could ever meet. my other cat is meaner, she is like the rottweiler of the family, she has taken on 6 other cats, 1 opposum, 2 raccoons, and 3 rabbits, and has won all the fights, did i mention she is declawed?
Posted by: midnight stalker | 29 Apr 2005 02:27:03
Minnie - yeah....
I have had black cats all my life - no problem until I picked up this poor, thin, little black cat on the side of the highway. I brought her home thinking she was a kitten. As soon as I opened the door she ran to the food dish I left on the floor for my Main Coon who wieghs 32 pounds!! She started eating like there was no tomorrow, hissing at ''Buddy'' if he tried to get near her. I brought her to the vet who told me she was aproximately 2 years old and that she was starving - only weighed one pound. This little cat was on her dying day when I picked her up!!! She ate constantly for 2 weeks and slept with her eyes open. (Gee I felt so sorry for her) When she finally got her health back I had her operated on. Weighing only 5 pounds now, she will hiss at anybody who crosses her path (I have lost boyfriends over this)hahaha!!! Guess I love her more!! She has accepted ''Buddy'' which should have been the other way around!! With me she is so affectionate and purrs all the time - I haven't seen a neighbourly cat around in ages and I think I have lost a few friends!!! What can I say??? To me she is priceless!!
Posted by: Lynda | 19 Sep 2005 17:55:52
Hi,
I think that Black Cats are different from all the other cats, I love them...they really have a different character- I always had a Black cat along with any cat you can imagine - but I always prefered the black ones!!! Maybe they are more intelligent, maybe more wise, even though the Main Coon I have right now is very affectionate and sometimes I swear he understands every word I say - I still prefer the Black one!!! Thank God, the Main Coon can't hear me say this -lol - but what can I say ....it's the truth!!
Posted by: Lynda | 17 Jun 2006 04:29:12
